Dare I Hope?

Honestly, at this point I would love to tell myself that it is way too early to hope, but how do you stop yourself from crossing everything on your body that can be crossed, sending up prayers that this really could be, and running out to buy a pregnancy test the first day after you miss a cycle?

I guess technically, I am 2 days late since I loosely keep track via www.conceptionstore.com and I am *always* a day ahead of their estimated date for my TOM to start. I have started a day before predicted for over a year now. Every month.

I haven't taken a pregnancy test since Liam was 6 months old. At that point we (gabe and I) were both kind of apprehensive about the results, but when it turned out negative, we decided that we wanted to start trying then and there because we were both so disappointed with the negative result. That means that we have have been trying for almost 2 years now (minus 5 months of being apart...damn army).

I haven't had real cause to take a pregnancy test since then and I thought I was levelheaded enough to not run out at the first clue that I maybe could on the slimmest chance be pregnant.

The rational side of me says that my period will be here by noon and I honestly feel that it will be, but the part deep inside that wants another baby so badly can't help but hold out hope that I won't be seeing Aunt Flo for another year or so.



So who do I listen to; rational mandy or the parent to two that is just waiting for an opportunity to emerge.