I have no idea who Sarah Smiley is or if she is even a real person. This came to me in a mass email the other day and I liked most of what is said in it so I posted it here.



A MILITARY WIFE'S VIEW OF THE WAR IN IRAQ

Sarah Smiley | 2006

Probably more than any other group of people, military spouses are
schooled in the art of patience. We have learned to be flexible and
to endure because we are married into a system that for all its
structure is still quite unpredictable. We've learned to be prepared
for short-notice moves, unexpected separations, and deployments that
last longer than planned. We've grown used to long stretches of time
when we can't speak to our spouses. And we've braced ourselves for
the ultimate shock: an officer standing at our door.

So while the rest of the world debates the war in Iraq and grows
impatient for the troops' return, we spouses wait patiently —
tolerantly — because we know that the work our loved ones do can't be
measured in 30-second sound bites and headlines that change with each
coming day.

This is precisely what sets military families apart from the rest. I
can't help but laugh when I hear the media say that America is ready
for the war to end so our service members can return home to their
families. Any military spouse knows an end to the war in Iraq doesn't
necessarily mean an end to our loved one's sacrifices.

Serving in the military is my husband's job. The hardships his duty
entails don't cease during peacetime. Yes, troops will come home when
the war in Iraq has ended, but soon those troops will turn around and
deploy again, maybe not to Iraq, and maybe not to a war, but they
will deploy none the less. When the active duty military members
return from Iraq, they won't suddenly have 9-to-5 jobs and be around
for all their children's birthdays again. To think otherwise is to be
unaware of the daily sacrifices our military makes every single day.

Indeed, for the families waiting back home, there is infinitesimal
difference between the sacrifices made during a wartime deployment
and those made during one which is "routine." Yes, there is more
stress and more to worry about when a loved one is deployed to a war,
but in general, the lives of military spouses hasn't changed very much
since before the war in Iraq began. I say this with caution, of
course, because for the woman who has lost her husband in the war,
life has changed incredibly. But for the most part, this is our daily
lives. This is what our spouses do. The only difference today is that
more people care and there is increased attention from the media.

The media often ask me, "How many times has your husband deployed to
a war?" and I dodge the question, not because I'm being elusive, but
rather, I think it shouldn't matter. In fact, my husband has only
deployed during war time. But does that make my sacrifices more
relevant than my mother's, when her husband (my dad) had been at sea
for a total of eleven years (most of them "routine") by the time they
reached their 22nd wedding anniversary?

Just the other day, a reporter asked me, "Are you anxious for the war
in Iraq to be over so your husband doesn't have to deploy any more?" I
couldn’t help it; I laughed – out loud. Who says my husband won't
deploy? If I've learned anything during my time as a military wife,
it is this: nothing is guaranteed. The only way my husband won't
"have to deploy any more" is if gets out of the military completely.

For military spouses, the cycle of deployments, missed holidays,
lonely anniversaries, and long separations, isn't governed by any war
or what's being debated on CNN. It is as much a part of our daily
living as weekend business trips and conference calls are to the
average business person. It is part of the job description. And thank
goodness, my husband has a job whether there is a war or not!

So don't have pity for us. Don't wish an end to the war for our
sakes. Instead, have appreciation. Be in awe that service men and
women of the United States are deployed every day of every year. War
or no war. And their families are waiting month after month during
routine and wartime deployments alike. Remember that just as our
service member counterparts have been trained for duty, we have been
trained for patience. And that's something the rest of America could
stand to learn as well